That family umbilical cord

Hultner Estrada & Dave Stienstra

Las Peñitas Beach is a picturesque place.  In this bay of tranquil waters, river currents meet the tides at the Padre Ramos Estuary, one of the wildlife parks in the department of León.

Very close to this beautiful place lives Jaime Pastor Orozco, a friendly local fisherman in his thirties, who is dedicated to the discipleship of youth in his costal neighborhood.

One day, while chating about the cultural differences between Anglo-Americans and Nicaraguans, Jaime Pastor made a comment that I have never forgotten.  “North American youth, at 18 years old, are already looking for a way to leave the nest and live on their own.  We Nicaraguans, at age 18, are looking for ways to bring a woman into our homes.”

Jaime Pastor’s commentary has made me think much about the reality of thousands of young couples that are living with their in-laws.

Why have so many of the young people who have married decided to live in the home of their in-laws?

The reasons are economic, but also cultural.  They lack a stable income, earning less than $250 per month, and are unable to qualify for a home loan.  Much less are they capable of paying the sizable down payment and associated fees.  But they have not cut the “familial umbilical cord”, which would allow the young couple to establish their own home.

In our culture, a “good son” is a thankful son who remains close to his parents.  As a result, abandoning the parents’ home is understood as a gesture of rejection towards those who raised him.  In many cases, when a son or daughter leaves, it means one less income for the family budget, which is the reason that parents prefer to build an addition onto the house for the newlyweds; it is a strategy for protecting their mutual finances.

“After thirty years of marriage, I had never broken this umbilical cord!” shares Estanislao Ramírez, who, along with his wife, recently completed the marriage course Restoring the Original Model, offered by the Nehemiah Center in the city of Estelí.

“I had never thought about the commandment in the Bible that says, ‘For that reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,’ and that cord was still firmly attached for me,” Estanislao adds.  His wife interrupts, “From the moment that he made some changes in the relationship with his family, our communication and relationship has improved enormously. In this way the course has helped us greatly.”

Cutting the familial umbilical cord is a challenge for young couples, but also for other couples who have years of independence. This is a challenging process if we consider that our culture gives a greater respect and regard for the mother or the father than your own spouse.

Fortunately, many Christians in Estelí and in the coastal area of ​​Leon and other cities are embracing the biblical principles for a married life according to God's design.

"Husbands love your wives ... and the wife must respect her husband."

Ephesians 5:25-33

They Helped Us Expand Our Radars

Hultner Estrada & Bethany Beachum

When a worldview is improved, the changes that people experience are always surprising.

This past month, more than 100 leaders from different churches in three Nicaraguan cities completed the first level of the program for formation of Agents of Transformation, bringing to close a year of studies in Biblical Worldview.

Although the Nehemiah Center has already been facilitating workshops for eight years now, the testimonies that come out of the end of each cycle are always surprising.  For example, Julián Garcia, a rancher from the town of Estelí, tells us:

 “I don’t have much education, I wasn’t even able to finish primary school, and maybe that is why I have always had difficulties with relating to other people.  I always thought it would be very hard to become an important person in society, but with these courses I have felt uplifted.  I feel that I have grown so much and have been trained to understand that the Lord has called me to be an Agent of Transformation.

Another thing that has kept me from relating well with other people is the Christian message that I had received, which was a very accusatory and condemning one.  Now, I feel much freer to talk about the Lord because I can share a gospel of peace.  Now I can tell others that He is a God of love, that He wants His people to flourish, and that it is us that He is calling to bring about that flourishing.”

On the part of Zulema Trujillo, a nurse in the hospital of Chinandega, she summarizes her experience with the following:

 “Because of a poor decision I made when I was younger, I distanced myself from the life of the church.  Ever since then it has been very difficult for me to return to a good relationship with the Lord.  Furthermore, because of my job, I don’t allocate time to be involved in any type of ministry.  So really I have felt sad in my life as a Christian; I have felt useless before God.

But through the courses on Biblical Worldview, I have realized that what I am doing in the hospital is a way of serving God, that I can minister, I can serve and be useful to God from my workplace.  And that, for me, has been very beautiful.  Now I feel that I can enjoy my job more.  I feel that I am close to God and that I serve him every time I help another person.  I feel that I have been freed.”

Stories similar to this one are very common at the end of the worldview courses, but we should clarify and recognize that the source of all such changes is the Word of God.  It is the rediscovery of Biblical truth and how we understand the world and ourselves as creations and co-workers of God.

As Julián García expresses, it is these truths that “have helped us expand our radars toward our own family and our community and come to understand that God wants a transformed society and we are His instruments to carry it out.”